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Literature Text
The deafening silence
makes the eyes cry blood
for the bright child
in the burning pit
of my wooden soul
makes the eyes cry blood
for the bright child
in the burning pit
of my wooden soul
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Reminder: The "lyrical I" (first person narrator) is not necessarily the author.
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I am not a native English speaker so if you find mistakes please tell me so I can fix them. Comments and (useful) critic are welcome.
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Do you think this is an overload an metaphors? Should I maybe lessen them and explain a bit more so it's better understood?
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I am not a native English speaker so if you find mistakes please tell me so I can fix them. Comments and (useful) critic are welcome.
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Do you think this is an overload an metaphors? Should I maybe lessen them and explain a bit more so it's better understood?Comments16
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I really like this. It has a strange morbid feel to it yet the metaphors shine and in the short work, it appeals a lot.